First step

My name is Ivan.

I am a Christian.

For a very long time, i have been battling with an addiction to pornography.

I've admitted it to my youthgroup before, but i have never taken real drastic measures to overcome it.

Yesterday the guilt in me was so heavy, so painful, and i shared with Aaron aka doctorbutterfly.

We had discussed the matter before, and so his recent blog posts have been aimed at helping me and others with this.

He reminded me once again to read his blog.

Last night i spent quite a while reading, and also watched a video interview with Ted Bundy, the serial killer/rapist who was executed 

in 1989. (Text version of the interview here)

 

In the interview, Ted revealed how his addiction to pornography slowly made him do the things he did.

 

He was brought up in a Christian household with two parents who were very diligent in protecting their children, but that didn't stop his rapid decline.

 

(Please note, Christians are not perfect. We recognise that we are imperfect and in need of a perfect plan to save us, one that only God can carry out!)

 

I understood the things he described too well, so well that i realised that if i don't do something about it now, i'll become a Ted Bundy.

 

That scared me.

 

Last night, i shared again with my youth group, and started Operation Starve the Sumo.

 

Lust and addiction to pornography, like any other addiction, is like a sumo inside us. (Credits for this analogy go to the Uncle at Aaron's church who is mentioned on Aaron's blog, sorry I don't know what his name is ><)

 

Because he is bigger than us, when we try to fight we will lose.

 

The only way is to starve him.

 

Stop every action or thought that feeds the sumo, and feed myself with the Spiritual food that is every word that comes from the mouth of God.

 

This Sunday i'm going to admit before the discipleship class that I am attending, and ask everyone to help keep me accountable and pray for me.

 

This blog will record my journey to be free from the monstrosity that is addiction to pornography.

 

Feel free to join me!

 

Operation Starve the Sumo for me has started last night, and will continue to the day i meet God in Heaven :)

 

This is every man's battle, may God guard our hearts and minds from the evil whispers of the devil.

 

In Jesus' name, Amen!